Croc(s) of Shit

I am over these things. I am absolutely sick of them. No self respecting human being has any business wearing these damn shoes! My ONLY exceptions are the following:

1. Doctors & Nurses
2. Chefs & Servers
3. Gardners
4. Children under the age of 10
5. Hobbits

People, take a long hard look at the list above. Numbers 1 through 3 are for obvious reasons. The are on their feet walking back and forth on very hard floors. They need a shoe that is comfortable, breathes well, will not slip and are easy to clean. That said, as soon as you leave work, TAKE THEM OFF! Numbers 4 & 5 are also obvious, I believe. Children are allowed to wear quirky, silly, rainbow shoes. As for the hobbits, they don't wear shoes, but if they did, I suppose these would be the most appropriate for their fat, wide, hairy feet!

Do people that wear these think that there is anything remotely attractive? Do they have no shame? Do they not realize that these are some of the FUGLIEST shoes ever invented (next to Uggs)?!?! Living in the U.S., I realize that people are lazy, don't care, or are only interested in comfort. But seriously... are you insane? Do you not have a mirror?! Don't any of your friends love you enough to tell you how shitty you look?! There is nothing even remotely cute about these terrible things and now they have the audacity to come out with more feminine, slender versions for their spring line?! Yes, that's right, you heard it... a fucking spring line!!!


(BTW, this image is from the actual Crocs site, however, I refuse to link to that thing, because I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR A SINGLE POSSIBLE PURCHASE!)

And last but not least in my rant, I present you with the next worst thing: Jibbitz! What the fuck is a Jibbitz? A Jibbitz is a little charm, accessory, "doo-hickey", if you will... as if anything could make these look better! HA. Of course not, but now, some lady somewhere is making the ugliest shoes around even more annoying. Don't believe me, think I'm making it up?! See for yourself... (And worst of all it's on fucking Oprah, so now the bitch will be rich). Kill me now.